It aint easy being brilliant...

At the fucking DMV.

I moved and needed to change the address on my driver’s liscene. I also needed to pick up my tag decal for this year that I was late paying because the notice didn’t come to my address because I had yet to change it on my liscense. I show up expecting to have to pay $10.

You follow, so far?

I get to the counter, after feeling out that long ass motherfuckin form they seemingly ALWAYS have waiting for you and waiting an additional 30 minutes, only to have them tell me that I owed a $25 renewal fee from when my liscense was suspended for forgetting to pay a speeding ticket last year. I made my case that I paid a $100 reinstatement fee in order to get my liscense off of suspension last year. She said that I also owed a $25 renewal fee, DESPITE the fact that they returned my liscense to me following the $100 LAST year, and my liscense didn’t expire until 2019. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. So, I gave them the ONLY $25 that I had in my wallet, and proceeded to ask for my tag decal. I had already paid the fee online, I was simply there to pick it up. They THEN proceed to tell me that because I was late paying my taxes, I owed a $75 late penalty. So, naturally, I ask; “why the hell wasn’t it added to the $250 I had already paid online??” She had no answer, and looked at me like I was a dumbass. I told her that I didn’t have anymore money on me. She THEN asks; “so you just wanna take care of this later, then?” Is that or is that NOT the DUMBEST fucking question you’ve EVER heard? I HAVE NO MORE MONEY! I have NO choice but to take care of it later, do I?? I then asked her, “what are you guys gonna ask for when I come back? My first born son? The title to my truck?” Before she can get the insincere “I’m sorry” out of her mouth, I loudly say, “THIS IS WHY EVERYBODY HATES THE FUCKING DMV!”

 I get EVERYBODY’s eyes on me, walk to the end of the counter, take the photo for my new liscense, and walk out of the door. I live in the middle of nowhere. I had to drive 20 miles to the nearest bank to take $75 out of my bank account. I turned around, went ALL the way back to the DMV only for the lady I had gotten the original long ass form from to have forgotten me already. I explained it to her ALL over again, and got assigned to the sme counter, different woman. AGAIN I have to explain the situation, before finally getting my receipt and tag decal.

I leave, PISSED the fuck off, only to have my wife call me from home to ask if I can take her to the doctor because her back is killing her.

I take her to the doctor where we wait for an hour past the scheduled appointment time for them to call us back. We then wait another 30 mins for the doctor to finally show up to talk to my wife. The visit itself lasts 20 minutes.

I then have to take her to the pharmacy, where we wait another 30 minutes for them to prepare her fucking prescription.

MY DAY OFF ENDED:

With NBA Finals basketball, Chinese food (mini mall Chinese food, but Chinese food nonetheless), and iced cold Loaded Landsharks!

That’s a whole lotta bullshit for such a small amount of relaxation, but on the brigt side, through it all, I didn’t even have to use my AK.

So I’d have to say…